thanksgiving is for the turkeys?

i have a friend from michigan's upper peninsula who put me on to an interesting pastime that i had not, until this point, been aware of. this year, in lieu of a perfectly dressed and basted baked bird, i've opted to deep fry at least one of my complementary pathmark x butterball turkeys taht you get for spending more than $200 dollars or whatever. after all, thanksgiving is uniquely american and what would be more american than setting up some lawn furniture in the carport, listening to the big game on the radio, and lowering a majestic bird into the old burner ($70-$80 dollars at home depot).

what's more, the sheer temporal efficiency (it takes about an hour) of the operation trumps the old 7 hour bake and you can use the leftover oil to power your vehicle if you're eco-friendly and not an average savage. or you can use it to make deep fried oreos for dessert. deep fried oreos that have been fried in peanut oil and turkey fat.

a caveat, do not add water to boiling oil as it can cause boil overs. a friend of mine once spent 8 hours cleaning oily residue off the linoleum after he inexplicably dropped some water into his deep fryer. also, this must be done outdoors. people have burned their house down trying to play patsy cline in their respective kitchens. (what does that even mean?)

special thanks to gumbopages.com for the primer.

for a movie that makes unique use of a deep fryer, see the over/under rated "scotland, pa."

if that's not your cup of tea, then maybe you should move to panama you would be expat.