Sunday Night Jam

az ft. nas - serious

Thanks for Giving

Get 'Em!

Sunday Night Jam

The Black Crowes - Jealous Again
What the hell was Chris Robinson thinking when he got with Kate Hudson?
the dude is too cool for her.

Tim the Tool Man Taylor

Things are bad. Things are going to get worse.


With that said, we need some options to fix this mess and handing out more money to poorly run businesses is not the answer. It's sorta like putting a band-aid on two gun shot wounds.

In the south it is common practice to set fire to your lawn every few years. This helps return the nutrients to the ground and in a matter of weeks your grass is growing back greener and stronger than ever before. That is what we must do to our economy, set fire to it.

President-elect Obama is building a very smart team of economic advisers with extensive knowledge. This is a welcome change, but I am fearful that they won't bring any drastic changes or a new approach. This makes the possibility of stepping in this same pile of doo doo brown all the greater.

What we need are new ideas and a new focus. I propose that we invest our money is a high speed rail system that runs throughout the country.

Such a project, derived from an original idea from my dad, would create over one million jobs and in the long run reduce our dependency on oil.
With over one million people from all over the country working together, the project could be completed in 10 years.
This idea will cost a pretty penny, but it is a safer bet than giving money to three auto companies that were struggling to keep their heads above water before this whole mess.

Imagine traveling from New York to Miami on a 300mph train in 5hrs. That is about equal to flying when you consider all the preparation required and will cost half the price.

plus it would be fun to hang on to the roof.

God knows they're squinters

Now I know there has been speculation about this for quite some time, but it seems like my dreams finally may be coming true. According to the Hollywood Reporter, we may be one step closer to seeing an Arrested Development movie. Creator Mitch Hurwitz and Ron Howard have reportedly signed deals to develop the project with Fox Searchlight and Imagine. Hurwitz will write and direct, with help from Howard.

Obama in the Oval Office. Gob Bluth on the big screen. November has been a good month for America.

Really??

The national media is abuzz about the video footage above in which Sarah Palin conducts an interview while turkeys are being slaughtered behind her. She's either clinically retarded or just that much of a redneck. Granted, I'm no tree-hugging vegan, I'm a happy carnivore that will gladly consume his fair share of turkey this Thursday, but I don't want to watch the damn things being killed on TV. Even the guy doing the slaughtering in the background seems to be perplexed as to why it's being caught on film.

Gotta give the mother of Trig credit though, she has successfully managed to NOT GO AWAY yet, turning the most non-newsworthy stories into big headlines.

As Charles Barkley would say...

turrible, turrible, turrible.

I have yet to figure out why NBA players dress so horribly. It's particularly unsettling when it deals with the G.O.A.T. For his sake, I hope he's at least rocking the Jordan XIs with that shiny ass suit.

Email of the Year

dude tried to pay for his utility bill with a drawing of a spider. dumb and funny as hell.
read email here.

thanksgiving is for the turkeys?

i have a friend from michigan's upper peninsula who put me on to an interesting pastime that i had not, until this point, been aware of. this year, in lieu of a perfectly dressed and basted baked bird, i've opted to deep fry at least one of my complementary pathmark x butterball turkeys taht you get for spending more than $200 dollars or whatever. after all, thanksgiving is uniquely american and what would be more american than setting up some lawn furniture in the carport, listening to the big game on the radio, and lowering a majestic bird into the old burner ($70-$80 dollars at home depot).

what's more, the sheer temporal efficiency (it takes about an hour) of the operation trumps the old 7 hour bake and you can use the leftover oil to power your vehicle if you're eco-friendly and not an average savage. or you can use it to make deep fried oreos for dessert. deep fried oreos that have been fried in peanut oil and turkey fat.

a caveat, do not add water to boiling oil as it can cause boil overs. a friend of mine once spent 8 hours cleaning oily residue off the linoleum after he inexplicably dropped some water into his deep fryer. also, this must be done outdoors. people have burned their house down trying to play patsy cline in their respective kitchens. (what does that even mean?)

special thanks to gumbopages.com for the primer.

for a movie that makes unique use of a deep fryer, see the over/under rated "scotland, pa."

if that's not your cup of tea, then maybe you should move to panama you would be expat.

She said, "Hey, how do you do?"

I'm part of a dwindling breed and I can live with that, but can you?
About 15 years ago there were many more of us. We came is all ages, sizes and colours. We also represented both anatomies equally. Yet over the years we have seen our numbers disproportionally diminished. Logic tells me that you couldn't have abandoned ship for a better vessel. A better vessel hasn't swam these shores for years. Maybe you simply forgot.

mr. jones


round here


rain king


anna begins


angels of silence


perfect blue buildings


cowboys

Bailout Me

I have problems. One of which is that my car is American, or actually that is isn't. Last week my girlfriend, who happens to speak French, informed me that Mazdas are foreign cars; in fact, they are Asian. This doesn't just explain the leg-room, it hurts my patriotism. You see, I buy American. I plow in a John Deere, eat breakfast at Taco Bell and prefer Freedom Waffles to the bastardized Belgian version.

I hear the Auto Industry is about to collapse, which will have far-reaching consequence including a decline in home attendance at Red Wings games. The industry is clamoring for my tax dollars. I'm as much to blame as anyone -- I should have seen through the Mazda dealer's deceptive dealership placement (in America) and realized it wasn't an American machine. My tax money should help, and so should yours.

Let me get something straight, I don't support this simply because I don't pay taxes -- I support this because I believe in poorly managed American business. I am involved in a number of them myself. For example, we should give more attention to struggling pryamid schemes. As the unemployment rate has risen, the pryamids have flattened. I'm bleeding, and the revolutionary hand-sanitizer I can provide associates at wholesale prices can't help because, as the instructions state, it should never be used on open-wounds. I'm in a freaking money pit, and it's not my fault -- the product is great, the price is great, and the sales tactics are ethical. The Asian and European pryamid schemes are simply out-performing my own. Even I admit that they may be better; it's that simple. Egyptians of all people have cornered the pryamid market, succesfully dominated the miracle-juice segment with "Nile-Magic." It's a very fine product. Frankly, the problem is beyond my reach, and I'd like to be reimbursed. How can I be expected to compete with other products when they are better than my own?

Bail Me Out. Only then, can I start to bail out America.

Something To Read

Feld brought to my attention that Esquire has put up on their web site what they consider the seven best stories ever told on their pages.
The link.


I love magazines and my collection of over 700 should attest to my claim that Esquire once was a great mag that now is good and sometimes flirts with greatness. The May 2005 issue was one of those great moments.

I had been living in Venezuela for over six months and I was starting to miss my American mags. To compensate I took a lil voyage to a luxury hotel in a not-so-close neighboring town with the only intention of raiding their bookshop. That day I spent roughly $43 on three magazines. The Esquire being the only one I still own.

Some people are amazing storytellers; and of the amazing ones some only need a paragraph while others can take up a thousand pages to tell their story. One of the greatest stories I have ever read was told on only a few pages of that May 2005 Esquire. It is "The Story of Cadillac Man and the Land of the Lost Souls," told by Cadillac Man himself.

I'm not sure what drew me in, maybe the realness of it or just the simple adventures of a homeless man in New York, but whatever it was he got me and I would thank him to his face if I could. For that reason I was surprised that the story wasn't included in the list of 7 best. Weak.

Now I have only read the story twice, once the day I got it and once more the following day. I have refused to read it again out of fear that it might not be as good as the last time and I'm ok with that. However, I do implore you to read it with the hope that you find it to be as good as I remember it to be.
The link to arguably the greatest story ever told.

Sunday Night Jam

a lil bit of combo flava tonight.
So take your cool off and listen to some Andre 3000 + Norah Jones.

If Paul Rudd was allowed to make Music Videos

You Can't Top My Chef

If you haven't been keeping up with your Real Housewives ATLiens you might not know that Season 5 of everyone's guilty pleasure, TOP CHEF "yo New York", starts tonight.

So set your dvr's to the Bravo network for 10pm so you can slo-mo Padma till the damn thing breaks; or if Gail is your thing, I ain't mad at cha. And don't worry ladies, Tom Colicchio is bringing his dome shaped head as well.

Eh Why Not...

just because...

a word on balding in a cool way

one day, not too long ago, i pricked myself with a felled hair from my own born coif. i'm asian, you see, so in high school i was known for maybe three discerning characteristics- verbal ability, vertical leap, and the aforementioned 3-d sideburns. but for all the grief incurred as a result of the genetic differences between myself and my mostly jewish and anglo-saxon counterparts, i was pretty fond of my hair. i rocked a little giants bowl cut as a child that transformed into some admittedly almost boy band-do which then begat a grown out clooney look that i favored into post adolescence. i grew it out one year, brushed off my mom's protests, laughed-off the newly won nickname of "sherpa," and was not surprised when some of those haters started to grow out their ish too. so i was understandably distraught sometime in my early 20s when my hair began to fall out.

in the long and shortlist of abject male horrors, hairloss falls somewhere between impotence and conscription. i will not get into the details of which factors are to be blamed for said hairloss, though i will say that i am by no means bald, but now opt for a more tightly kept buzzcut, which at first made me look slightly chicano- customers at the footlocker where i worked would approach me spouting spanish, looking for A!-you-ROH-pah sizes- but has more recently grown into me and i into it. it could be better- could be worse. i think i rock it pretty well for now.

so in lieu of the release of the 22nd bond film, this month's "quantum of solace," headlined by the thinly-coiffed Daniel Craig (admittedly sporting a more volumized do this time around), here's a look at a few other dudes that have managed to do their damn thing in the face of recession:

Best Show on TV

Alright I just finished watching the latest Californication epi and I was reminded of two things; one old, the other new.

First the old.
Californication is the best written show on television.

Now the new.
Tehmina Sunny is "schwing" worthy.

Unalienable Rights

I am not gay, but I find it sad that I feel the need to make my sexual orientation known in order to make a point. As a human being, I strongly believe that everyone should have the right to find happiness as long as there is no intent to harm another. I decided to write about this topic because it has been on my mind for a minute and tonight on his show, Keith Olbermann dedicated his "Special Comment" to this issue (see the video below).

As an American, I have been taught that this country was founded as a safe haven for people escaping discrimination and that one of the most prized gifts of American citizenship is each person's unalienable right to pursue happiness.

As a member of the Mormon faith, I have been taught and have come to believe that while God is perfect, we are all imperfect, and that despite our imperfections, God loves us all equally.

As a minority, I have felt the cruel effects of negative discrimination.

As a person that feels I know that the greatest ability we have is to love another, to have pure unadulterated feelings of selflessness, and that a simple sacrifice can have a longer lasting effect than what money can buy.

I have no anger towards any person who makes the decision that they believe is right. The beauty of life is that no matter what, we have the freedom of choice.

The following sentence might sound ironic: I believe that people are afraid of the unknown and the differences they find in others.

After doing some research on Proposition 8 in California, I found that religious institutions would not have been affected by a vote against Prop8. They would have been able to continue teaching their beliefs without worrying about losing their tax exempt status.

Some of you who read this might not see eye to eye with me on this issue, and I am fine with that. All I ask is for everyone to continue to do what they feel is right, to seek out and resolve doubtful feelings when they arise, and to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.


link

Sunday Night Jam

It appears as though someone forgot to post the Sunday Night Jam on Sunday night (jam was that you?). Anyway, sorry for the delay. To make up for it we hit you with a classic 80's beat.

Say hello to Eddie Money. Hi Eddie.

Dave Chapelle on TV tonight

Some of you may remember my "Open Letter to Dave Chapelle" from last month, in which I begged Dave Chapelle to return to the world of comedy.

Well, it looks like my prayers have been answered. Tonight at 8PM on Bravo, you can witness Dave Chapelle in the flesh as he co-hosts the 200th episode of Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton. He will be interviewing Lipton as well as recapping sessions with some of the show's most noteworthy guests. Expect hilarity and I'm guessing tons of cigarette smoking.

It's good to have you back, Dave.

random musings vol. II

yes, it's saturday night at 2:51AM. and yes, i may or may not be under some herbal influence. but that's neither here nor there. what is important is that i'm about to drop a nugget of wisdom on urrybody...something i like to call "random musings."

- Iconoclasts on the Sundance Channel is a dope show. They have brought together some ill combinations of people which makes for great TV. Some of my notable favorites include Dave Chappelle + Maya Angelou (sick!), Deepak Chopra + Mike Myers, Robert Redford + Paul Newman (which they re-aired in the days after his recent passing), Paul Simon + Lorne Michaels, and most recently, Bill Maher + Clive Davis.

- Peep "Queens Get The Money" off Nas' most recent album. It is straight mo fiah buh! buh! buh! Takes me back to the Illmatic Nas rather than the Oochie Wally Nas, ya dig?

- I'm still smiling after the results of Tuesday. Barack "Barry" Obama will soon be running the free world and I couldn't be happier, sheitttt.

- Tracy Morgan is effin' hilarious. He killed it on this past week's episode of 30 Rock. I'm upset I missed his show tonight at the legendary Apollo, but to those of you bastards that did go, lechayim!

- I think ima buy myself an original Nintendo NES system. Kiki is itching to play Duck Hunt, Contra, and obvi Mike Tyson's Punch Out. The Wii is admittedly dope, but Kiki's going old school.

And on that note, I'm out. Enjoy your Sundays.
-

Real American Love

All around the world people were spreading the love over the simple fact that the majority of Americans made the right choice on Tuesday. A lot of people think that the decision of picking the first African-American to head this country is the big big news, but I feel the most important aspect of Tuesday's election was us making the decision that we wanted Change. Time will tell if we get the change we want, but take comfort in the fact that the right decision was made.

Anyone who tells you that the country was heading in the right direction is a fool (and trust me there are many who have no qualms about sharing their distaste for America's choice on facebook). Crazy spending, two wars, a widening gap between the rich and poor, and a diminishing brightness in the ray of hope that American has shone since she was discovered. That ray now shines brighter.

Attached are two things that assure me we made the right choice:

First, this article written by William J. Kole, AP's Vienna bureau chief, who has covered European affairs since 1995. It is a short article that expresses the unbridled joy shared by those around the world.

Second, a video of a group of people that joined together at Union Square in New York City a few hours after it was clear that Barack Obama was declared the 44th President of America. To show their happiness they joined in unison to sing the "Star Spangled Banner."



This is the America that I love.

We Need Real Change (stop discrimination against ugly woman)

Discrimination is everywhere and one group that bears the brunt of it are Un-Attractive Women. It might be more correct to label them as less-attractive women because remember, beauty really is dependent on the eye of the beholder. Yet any way you dice it the fact is clear, life can be sucky if you are less attractive and a woman.

Daisy Buchanan, a former New York socialite, was once quoted of saying, "...the best thing a girl can be in this world... a beautiful little fool." Talk about pressure. Remember the old days when just having a cool girl was all a guy really needed. Of course not, because that time never existed. Pretty girls have always been "the in thing." Don't believe me? How about we ask these guys:


That's two of the greatest musicians to ever walk this earth, one living, one dead. What do they share in common? Their love of beautiful women. What else? They're mother effing BLIND! If just being cool was ever the ticket, these guys would've been bleacher seat season ticket holders, but instead they opted for luxury box seats because the "view" was better.

Ray Charles more so than Stevie, but Stevie nonetheless, were notorious womanizers. Reports were that they always scored with the hottest chicks around. They loved the ladies and they would only choose the best looking ones. Now if I was a less-attractive gal I would have assumed that if I had a good chance with any guy it would be a blind guy, but apparently even the blind discriminate. Some assume that maybe their handlers would help them pick the girls, but if I was a handler to Ray Charles back in the day you could bet your bottom dollar that I would have lied to the dude and kept the best looking gal for myself. Any man in his right mind would.

And therein lies the problem with our society, we put too much emphasis on external beauty when all we should really care about is how well the girl... (you sicko).

So let us take comfort in the words of Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road":

"You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright. Oh, and that's alright with me."

tune for the mood

close your eyes, kick off your sneaks and let it sink in.

The Best Speech of the Year

President Obama's acceptance speech had a somber feeling, but was filled joy and love for all of America. What some deemed as the impossible became possible last night. Obama surely felt a little bittersweet with the fact that his grandmother missed the opportunity of seeing her grandson reach this moment by literally hours. But it is indescribable the level of pure joy that has been set a blaze in the hearts of the majority of this country and the majority of the world. Watch the speech if you have not seen it or even if you have watch it again, watch it an listen to it's message. Things won't be easy, but together we can really make this world a better place.

mental math

george bush is now basically the social equivalent of OJ simpson. we'll let him play golf and continue to exist on earth, but he'll have to live the rest of his life being viewed as the embarrassing piss stain on the jammies of father america.

Today Was A Good Day

Mr. President Barack Obama

It's official, folks. As of 11PM, Barack Obama has been announced as the 44th President of the United States of America. This is an unbelievably historic moment, one in which I am truly at a loss for words. If you had asked me a few years ago if I would see an African-American president in my lifetime, I would've laughed. To see this happen now, not just in my lifetime, but in my youth, is truly unbelievable. Not only did Obama win, he won handedly by a large margin, straight up mollywopping Senator McCain.

The outcome of this election speaks volumes about how bad of a job that President Bush did in his 8 years in office. From a falsely motivated, preemptive war on Iraq in response to 9/11 to a despicable showing by the Bush administration on supporting its own citizens in the wake of Hurricane Katrina to the economic policies that have resulted in the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression, the Bush administration's collective failures have led to the election of a man named Barack Hussein Obama. Who could've imagined?

I can safely say that I have never felt more faith in the state of America, its citizens, and the health of Democracy. This election has revealed what has and continues to make America great. Barack Obama has done the unthinkable and become the 44th President of the United States of America. Half-white, half-African, born in Hawaii, raised by a single mother in the Midwest, Columbia and Harvard educated, Barack Obama represents a lasting symbol of the American dream. He has run the most successful campaign in history, with the least mistakes, the greatest fundraising effort, and staged arguably the biggest upset in American presidential election history.

President Barack Obama might not be able to bring all of his lofty goals to fruition, but deep down I truly believe that he will sincerely work his hardest day in and day out as President of the United States. It is a comfort that I have never felt about politics in my young life. Despite the turmoil that is occurring all around us, from the global financial crisis to the war in Iraq, I can safely say that I will get the best night of sleep I've had in years.

YES WE CAN!

either way, my change came like sam cooke

barack obama is speaking now. and i am uplifted now as i have been throughout this day-from when i woke this morning to the moment i stepped into the voting booth, an aggregate of 20-something first time voters behind me- and yet, like the president-elect, himself alluded to, i cannot help but look towards tomorrow for answers. i cannot help but look towards tomorrow with trepidation. but that trepidation is perhaps outweighed by the hope that the fervent, electric energy of today is transmitted into four years of work, not only for mr. obama, but for us. we are the generation that inherited post 9-11 america. we are the generation that inherited the worst global economic period since the great depression. and now, we are the generation that elected the first african-american president in the history of our united states. what will we do tomorrow?

"the true strength of this nation comes from...the enduring power of our ideals...democracy, truth, and unyielding hope. what we've already acheived can give us hope for what we can and will acheive tomorrow."- barack obama

Here I am baby! Signed, sealed delivered, I'm yours!

WE DID IT! Congrats America.


The 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

Electoral Update

According to Wolf Blitzer, a man with a German name, Barack Obama, another man with a name, and the Democrats are cruising.

Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maine. All the big swing states are turning blue.

Good thing the Maverick is just warming up. This is the moment we have all been waiting for, the McCain comeback. Right now, he is a moderate light pink. But he's getting pissed, steamed. Fact -- when John gets red, states go red. The Phoenix Sun will rise again.

There it is! McCain just took Mississippi!!! I knew it! Watch out ...

Election Map

Hey if you're looking for cool map to follow the election results, look no further than TPM's/google map. It is updated in real time and it is also broken down by counties when you click on a state!

or you can join the Gawker live bloggin discussion group that has a suspiciously similar map.

Walk the Line

Seriously now, I want someone to try to tell me that this all means nothing. When has our country ever felt so strongly the need to vote? Kennedy's election brought so much interest that many assumed they would never see anything like it again. Well ladies and gentlemen welcome to 2008.

If you need just one reason to vote for Obama today...

Obama Girl is that reason. You know, I know, we all know that a McCain groupie sure as hell don't look like that. So, on this historic day, I urge you, I urge all Americans, do not judge a presidential candidate by his policies, his moral compass, or his demeanor, but rather by his groupie love.

YES WE CAN!

Well that sucks

Talk about a sucky election eve for Obama. Madelyn Dunham, Obama's grandmother has just passed away from cancer at the age of 86. Now it's just him and his sis. It's been clear the amount of influence his grandmother had on his life and even the lives of many others was huge. Raised in Kansas, she worked on an assembly line for Boeing during WWII. She later moved to Hawaii where she and her husband, a war veteran, helped raise Sen. Obama and his sister Maya. Ms. Dunham later earned a position at the Bank of Hawaii where she later became the President.

She might not get the chance to see her grandson become President of the United States of America with her own eyes but she is in a happier place.

Statement released from Obama and his sister:

It is with great sadness that we announce that our grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, has died peacefully after a battle with cancer. She was the cornerstone of our family, and a woman of extraordinary accomplishment, strength, and humility. She was the person who encouraged and allowed us to take chances. She was proud of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren and left this world with the knowledge that her impact on all of us was meaningful and enduring. Our debt to her is beyond measure.

Our family wants to thank all of those who sent flowers, cards, well-wishes, and prayers during this difficult time. It brought our grandmother and us great comfort. Our grandmother was a private woman, and we will respect her wish for a small private ceremony to be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, we ask that you make a donation to any worthy organization in search of a cure for cancer.

Sunday Night Jam

stevie on a sunday. ain't nothing wrong with that.

funny commercial

Nike is doing an ad campaign for their new nike 6's. I am probably the last person on this blog to be writing about this but I do like the commercial and Nicole Scherzinger has nice feet.

the last SNL post

McCain did his Saturday Night live. He did a better than decent job in the opening bit but Tina Fey had the better jokes. vid below (try not to get scared at the 2:45 mark).



The funnier bit of the night was had during the Keith Olbermann skit. Affleck isn't funny but he was here:

College Football right now

If you have nothing to do right now (3:30pm), turn on your TV to CBS to watch what is considered the most anticipated college football game this season. Georgia (6) vs. Florida (8).

Georgia is visiting the swamps for the 16th time in the last 18 years which seems a lil unfair to me, but what do I know.

Well I do know that college football is modern America's pastime. Sucks for baseball, sucks even more for that non-American presidential candidate.

* In hindsight this post sucked.